This is a pms post. Be Warned.
What came first...
My urge to eat everything is sight because I KNOW my monthly is coming or the urge to eat everything in sight because I genuinely feel starved out on my monthly?
I know it's coming because I get crazy emotional.
Case in point, last night I wanted pasta. I never eat pasta, because it just isn't worth it, nutritionally. However, I just was really feeling it last night. I have had a headache for 2 days, felt run down and wanted some friggin carbs. With olive oil. And sun-dried tomatoes. Stat.
Here is where things got strange!
I couldn't open the tomato jar. I REALLY wanted that jar to open. On the verge of tears, I decided to hell with it. I will break it open.
This sounded totally logical to me at this point, so I walked outside, and...
promptly threw the bottle on the ground.
Needless to say, It opened!!
I calmly took the wreckage inside, put it in a bowl and picked out the glass. Then I went outside and swept up.
As I was eating my
Oh. Beginning of the month. In approx. 5 days, AF arrives.
That explains that!
But I am not entirely sure there isn't some shift that occurs when I realize it's time for Aunt Flow. After my pasta cravings were handled, I still grazed. Strawberries. M&M's. Lemonade/Tea concoction.
Did I need to? Or did I do it because that's what I am "supposed" to do while PMS'ing? I know the emotional distress I go through at this time is legit and have learned ways to deal with it. Exercise, long hot baths, journaling, reading, lying in silence, meditation when I can muster up the resolve that takes!
However, I have never, not once, tried to understand or conquer my food issues during this time.
Maybe now is a good time.
I have already given in to sugar cravings at breakfast with a piece of coffee cake, which made me really think about all of this. Wouldn't toast with some strawberries have done the same for me? Am I eating the things I choose because I want it, because I am tired and want the boost or am I using PMS as a subconscious excuse to gorge?
It's a nasty cycle. I lose a few pounds, and gain them back at PMS time. I never really get ahead. It's not helping the hopelessness feelings!!
So.. For the next week, whether it's here or in a journal or even in a note on my phone, I will write/type down what I am feeling at my meals, why I want what I want and if there is an alternative and most of all.. Avoid salt!! And perhaps start putting my tomatoes into tupperware after I buy them.
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